The New Truth I Made For You

I lay down stones
Tomes from my old worlds
And you just can’t help
But connect the dots
Create roads that create destinations
That don’t exist

We never learn
The truth we yearn for

Because we judge in an instant
Make assumptions to form answers
To fill gaps
Before we get to them

If you actually cared about what was true
Would you create answers from out of the blue
Before asking the questions

The truth that you’re left with
Is never the letter
No matter how clever
Now matter how clearly
We think we know better

It’s never better to assume we know

We don’t
We lie
To ourselves
Divide the mind
Between truth and a lie
And maybe that’s why
We’re never tethered

Forever alone

Separated by the lines we draw
To connect the dots to the things we know
We thought we knew
We drew the lines
And stepped inside
And lost our minds
To lies

To the paths we find
That we made in our minds

Now we’re locked in box
And it will never stop
Because we never got the chance
To see what was truly beyond
The lines we drew

Epilogue:

You might not get a chance to prove yourself
I might just make assumptions first
And put you back up on the shelf
And walk away

Breaking Day Don’t Wake Me

I miss her
But I cannot say those words
To her

I think of her each day I wake
But she’ll never know the way I break
When I think
Of her moving on
Beyond
Me

I miss her
But I can never tell her
Let go
She whispers in the mirror

Looking at me
Sadly passing
Looking forward
To let the past be
Buried

Take what’s around you
Use what you’ve got
To make a better day

They say

But who are they
To trivialize
This pain

What do they know
Anyway

True Love is Bats

I

I want to be a cat
She said
This little mouse
Held in my hands

I want to be a playful, feisty kitty cat
But I’m so shy
I can’t do that

I want to be your
pretty
little
loyal
pet

But I don’t have the claws to stretch
The will to flex
I’m just a tiny mouse you met

My love, my pet
My mouse
My precious, pretty kitty cat
I love you just the way we met

The sparkle in the hazelnut
That look that gets me in the gut
The golden light of your sweet touch
Your tender lips
My deepest wish

Your quiet sigh of safety
When your arms embrace me

Breaks me
Makes me
Feel again
Feel alive
Helps me love you
Through my pain

My love, you make me
Want to wake up
Every day

Just to see your pretty face
Just to feel your soft, shy gaze
I want to make your world safe

A wonderful place
That’s curious, with cake
Where we can play
Fearless
Forever
Warmly embraced
Our love held in place
Like the moon out in space

Ya baby, that great

My love, my dear
My kitten, sincerely
I love all your mousy ways
Your cute little ears
Your cute little nose
Your cute little mouth
And all that I know

II

I wanted to be a wolf,
Alone
But I’m a fox on a pile of bones
I didn’t know
My broken home
Was missing a mouse
To make it whole

The hungry wolf
Destroyed, devoured
And all that I tasted
Was spoiled and sour

But I was convinced
That hunger was power
And foxes were cowards

So I hunted alone
And slept on the bones

I didn’t know…

When I hold you in my hands
I know I am your man

The wolf is the bones
And the fox finally can
Come out of the cave
And make a stand
To sell lemonade
And PB and jam

My little mouse looked up to me
Sad and sweet and free to be

I love you, fox
She said to me
You are my rock
My playful thoughts
And tender paws
Would not want
Your hungry wolf
To take what’s not
Given freely to my fox

I realized then I couldn’t be
A broken heartless tragedy
A wolf in a blanket of misery

III

I am a fox
And I want the fire
She is a mouse
By night she’s a flyer
A quiet tiger
Together, we rise
And flames take us higher

I want a world
Where my mouse is free
To dance with the vampires
Walk with the liars
To sleep with the lions
And never grow tired
Of trying

Her kindness
Reminds me
Of mine

The fox and the mouse
In an unlikely house

The mouse and the fox
Two hearts tied together
In the tidiest box

Fit like a glove
And other sweet clichés about love
Repeats because
It’s so true

When it’s true

It doesn’t matter
Who
You are

February 2019

All The Roads Lead To You

I

It’s so easy

To slip and be
Lost to the void

Why does it pull me, make it so heavy
Why is it easy
To fall

Why is it so hard
To stand
Enthralled

Why is it hard to crawl
Out of it all

What
Is
The
Void

What is killing me, why is it killing me
Why so slowly

Why so slowly

II

Imagine truth
Believe it like it’s meant for you
And then destroy
It all

A wrecking ball
Of clear resolve

What does that mean
A clean slate redeems
Everything?

Acceptance obliterates all that’s been?

What does that say
About anything
About everything

We spread our gospels
Anyway

A plague of ideas
To help us feel
Less

To help us not feel
For each other
Help us
To keep us
To help us
Help me
Please us
To keep us

Jesus was a name we knew
An idea that grew
From generations of fear

From thousands of years
From thousands of mouths
Telling a story from ear to ear
From year to year
For thousands of years

And we hold it so dearly

How much do we hear
How much is the same
Was I told, did I hear,
did I learn?

What’s the difference when the bottom line
Doesn’t mind
Lying

When we’re retelling
Inventing the story
Next year
A thousand years
To be shaped
In a way that pleases our peers

Each person adding a word here
Misunderstanding a tone
Misdirected and disoriented by fear

III

Be brave

Stand and witness
True and ruined
It hurts
To break

But hold
Become
Something
Beyond
What you’ve been told

Beyond
The same old
Story

Become
The glory
The glow
The curiosity that finds the hidden gold

Or be left always waiting to break
To be broken
Waiting
To be blown open

And here we are

You’re always waiting
I’m always waiting
We’re always watching
Each other

Waiting for someone to break
Waiting for the moment
To finally take us

Beyond

We wait
And we’re waiting
Forever taking
From each other

To pass the grating days
Waiting for the beginning
For something to happen
For it to begin
Waiting
For the ending

While it’s happening
While it’s all been happening
All along

While I was calling out
For someone
Anyone
Anything
Something
Nothing
Please, nothing
But something

Waiting for someone to take my hand
To stand with me
To help me
Save myself
From the flames at my wings
Waiting for anything
To save me from the things
I haven’t done
That I’m not doing

Waiting for shadows that will never step into the light
Waiting for blindness to revoke my sight

I’ll wait until the end of time
If only
It tells me
I’ve been crazy

I’ve been waiting for nothing

I’ve been baited
By my own brain
To wait for the ending
Before the beginning
Has a chance to move
Beyond
The starting line

IV

How
Friend
I love you

I love you
How do I tell you

How do I help you
With something so
Natural

Lost in time
And practice
Against
Nature

How do I help myself
Now, knowing

Evil
Isn’t evil

But people don’t treat people like people

How do you
Find the balance
The will
To embrace
What you hate
And not become
The monster
You run
From

How do you become
Right

What is
My life

What is
Wrong
What is
The light in your eye
When you sing me your love song

What is the light
And why do I recognize

What am I

Is it safe
To be alive

To be mine
The eye
In my mind
Is it mine
To love myself and be alive

Is it ok
To feel this way
And still not feel ok

Is there an end
To anything?