The Degeneration of Love

IV

Cascades
Broken colours
Mirrors
In shards of light

(cliche)

Ideas
Broken glass
Lasting far past
Endless silence sight

(cliche!)

Night is roaring
At the fading light

(always the same)

III

And nothing passes
In mirrors
Cutting down horizons
To shine an endless reflection
Of itself
All over my breaking face

Arrange the colours
Mechanical lines divide
To make the spectrum shine
Through my eyes

To change my mind
Arrange the shards of glass
Refractions blasted
To hide the sun, stains, past
Trick my mind
To paint a lovely false sublime

(The blinding light is fine
They always say
But they always look away…)

II

Choking down my will to breathe
To please
I laugh at my mind

Close my eyes
To hide
From life
And living
And you

Don’t remind me
This time
Can’t fix my eyes with your lies

There’s nowhere to hide

…But there are places to fly
When you understand why

I

Spirals of oozing concrete
Form
To point the way

Endless tongues into the mouth of a monster
Sweet lullabies
To make us stay

A little longer
Always feeling, falling away
And I’m going to do it again today

…And nothing passes
In mirrors
Cutting down horizons
To shine an endless reflection
Of itself
All over my broken face

The Fuckboy Twitch

Sittin’ at the sex clinic
Swiping on Tinder
Hottie sits across from me
Starin’ at my finger

Gotta get off
Gotta get off
Gotta get outta here

So many girls
So many worlds
To enter

So many moments
For my magic fucking finger

Why, why, why,
why, why, why, why
Does she entice my lusting eyes…

Dust, disease, rash, relief
Nothing ever stops me

I’m filled and quenched and satisfied
Exhausted, fucked and pacified

I’ve eaten so much pie
That I’m permanently high
And I want more

Why, why, why, why,
why, why, why…

My monster lust
It must
Envelope you in carnal trust
Consume you, bond in sweat and musk

It needs you willing on your knees
Enthusiastic smiling treat
It needs you soft so whimper please
Beg for me

And I will give you what you need

Submit yourself before my beast
And we will break the monsters free

You look through me with smiles and say…

Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I have diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs

And you go down
I start to swell

I’ll never fight
I’ll never tell
The softness swells…

Birthday twist
The hammer hits
And breaks the bell

Keep it sweet
Impersonal

Modern metro sexandgo

Abasement Of The Masochist

Deep this wound’s revealing
I’ve kept myself from any feeling

I’ve kept myself from ever healing…

Scarred, I’m broken
Took this pain to be a token
Of my love for you

Broken down by my own virtues

Lost my way, don’t want to move
Won’t you speak
I don’t know what to do

Can’t find one thing with any value

Tell me it’s not true
Show me something good inside you
Say you hold it as a virtue

Tell me that it’s true

Deep this wound’s revealing
All these things I’ve been concealing
To spare your feelings

To keep myself from ever healing

Put your misery in me
To be
A token of my love for you

Won’t you speak
Please
I don’t know what to do

My skin is peeling
Scar myself to cry for you
To spare your feelings
I’ll keep myself from ever healing

A token of my love for you

Tradition Stagnates Growth and Evolution

The typical opinion of what a relationship should be
seems to be a perverse,
socialistic,
self-serving ideal.

Most often,
from what I see around me,
they become quite horrible –
or quite horribly dull.

Expectation and promises ruin everything.

People don’t seem to be able to simply enjoy.
Desperation.
Loneliness seems to be what drives people.
Seek desperately,
only to suck dry what you find,
all the while hiding and lying.
No fun in that.

The sex gets boring fast, too.

I think true nature acts without questions,
no demands,
no expectations –
only the enjoyment of the company,
the experience –
or nothing.

Commitment,
pledges and promises
are the vain, possessive, manipulative methods of foolish,
frightened and sad,
lonely humans.

I know what I want from others,
and it has nothing to do with possession,
or a plea for help,
or even loneliness.

Relationships don’t cure loneliness –
not for me.
They give me sexual comfort and spiritual bonding,
but in the end,
I’m still my own vessel following my own path.

If you end up on the same path as me,
then perhaps,
we hang out while we’re moving in the same direction,
but we’re still on our own paths,
and if they change directions separately,
we part and take our own path,

or we compromise our peace and happiness.

I’m sure that monogamy does happen in a pure state sometimes.
Nothing is impossible.

People are infinitely different
in their pleasures and desires.
Some people can continue to grow from each others presence
and will feel no need for anyone else.
It happens – but it shouldn’t be a standard.

It doesn’t happen that often.

What Lies Beyond The Inevitable Fade

I

I crave to break apart the box
Rearrange the parts
It leaves my mark

Compelled to break apart the laws
Disassemble right and wrong
Rewrite your songs

Erase your lines
(Rewrite your lies)

I’ve walked through your labyrinth
It made me sick
Your indirection

I watch you in a window, waiting
Hoping you’re that special one
To me

Ego glowing

II

Why haven’t we changed
From our archaic ways
What makes us cling to
Living this way?

Lay me down and wrap me around
A wet blanket weighed the same as
All the blood wasted
And claimed in the name of
Anyone who fits the plan
And plays the hand
That’s been programmed

I don’t know who falls
When it’s all of us
On The wall

III

I see your boxes and your longing
To break them apart
To remind you how cathartic
It can be to breathe

Tradition holds us tightly locked
Refusal of any growth beyond it
And we flaunt it
Special flag, oh we adorn it
Trapped in our minds…

IV

Why?
Do you feel the need to be
That singular, special, perfect thing to me
Why do you have to bleed
The weakness of your ego
All over me

Fucking love yourself
Try it for a day
See if you can carry that weight
Stop talking
Shut up
Do it it today

V

There’s a thousand worlds beyond
The one repeating suburban loop
You and your group
Exploit

Why do you insist
On making choices when the voices
Have been screaming NO!

I smoked a million cigarettes
And never got past my regrets

Get over yourself
Your pain isn’t wealth
It isn’t some cherished personal thing

You’re not fucking special
No matter how big the promise
The ring

VI

Your fantasy
Monogamy
Will bleed into monotony
You’ll want what you should not
And then
You’ll question your morality
And you will lose your certainty

The shadows start to breed
a thousand versions of your greed
Your ego supercedes
And you will lose yourself to me
and then repeat

You’re not alone
You’re not the only one thing
To anyone

Your fantasy
Will lead to disappointment

VII

I know, as you know, as we all know
what it feels like
Just fucking get over yourself

You’re not fucking special
You’re not unique at all
You’re just like the rest
Just a fucking shadow at best

Just a shell of what could have been
The best fucking thing that you could be

Instead you curl inside yourself
Pathetic shell hiding away
On a forgotten shelf

Goodnight, goodbye, my love…